Some few weeks ago, the ladies of our extended family met supposedly to save one of my aunts. According to those of the women in the know, the husband had allegedly forsaken her family for prostitutes. The saving involved us contributing some money to a kitty to help the aunt and her two children leave the husband and start life afresh. But before we got to the actual contributions, the meeting, which I had attended, turned to one long prostitute bashing conversation. For a moment it was as if the husband was innocent and all the blame was on the prostitutes. " What are those?" an aunt asked, in reference to prostitutes. I clicked, shook my head, and murmured just like everyone else in the room, to whom prostitutes were what and not who.
In the circumstances I had no option but to trait my comrades and join in the chorus calling us 'those things'. That said I wouldn't be surprised if I come to know all the women there cheated on their husbands.
If I had been more courageous I would have told the women; prostitutes don't break up families. Of course I know how self serving the statement sounds, but its something I believe having seen how we relate with our male clients. The reason a man will stop caring for or about his wife is because he no longer has any sentimental attachment to her; he has diverted to someone or something else. Could be his work, beer, another woman or even a man. If a woman, she can never be a prostitute. Men still regard us prostitutes as the free for all women; We belong to everyone and anyone willing to pay. There is nothing about our work, and what we become because of what we do to make a man wish to invest his emotions in us. Starting with the basics; men don't trust us, and as much we act like we need them the bright ones know its business. Its a universally acknowledged truth that a man won't invest their emotions in a woman who doesn't genuinely need him.
Who then is the culprit? Its the mistress or side girlfriend. The relationship between a man and his mistress is quasi business. There is, spelled out in bold letter, the I love you part and the I need to pay my rent part. The end of a marriage starts when the I love you part takes over.
I know no woman wants his man sleeping with someone else more so a prostitute. The hatred towards prostitutes is more economic than emotional. It makes so much sense in the present days where only pretenders talk of for better or worse. However the breaking point, if you are keen, is mostly when the man's emotions are diverted.
I have slept with married men. I know they are married because some tell me. I hear others lie to their wives they are in traffic or in some meeting at 1.AM.Others have taken me to their homes, when the wife is away and I see the family photo next to the bed. The obvious question is whether I feel guilty about it? Certainly not.One, because I know my actions wont logically break the family, and two because I discovered quite early that to succeed in this world you need to kill your conscience. Just look around you and see, the so called successful people; in whatever way they camouflage it they are insensitive and without conscience. After reading one or two motivation books, many which claim to have the formula for success, I
realized all the authors try to do is to get a person to kill their conscience and all other guilty feelings softly;yes, without feeling guilty about it.
Well there are still women who believe we are responsible for their marriages breaking apart. One of them actually drove to the streets some night and started insulting us. She must have been in so much pain to gather the courage to confront a group of prostitutes. Unfortunately most of us have developed, for our own survival, a very keen sense of verbal abuse.Still none of us is a match for Cheupe . She approached the woman and said something like " Sex with a prostitute is of the lowest quality. If your man enjoys it then ask what is wrong
with you." A false statement, (or perhaps true to Cheupe), but strong enough to make the woman leave shedding tears and us laugh.
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I have finally taken a rapid course about Twitter and I am now there as @suenairobi. And Facebook as Sue Maisha. I am yet to post anything big though. No, I don't think I will do live updates from the streets as someone requested me to.
I am also aware, and have been reminded severally, that blog etiquette requires me to respond to comments, I will do that some day soon.
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